Balancing Inclusivity and Fairness: Bathrooms and sports

I want to speak today about a topic that has become increasingly fraught: gender identity and its implications for public spaces like bathrooms and sports teams. I know this conversation can feel like a minefield, but I believe we need to be able to talk about it openly, honestly, and with compassion for everyone involved.

First, let’s start with a fundamental truth: every person deserves respect and dignity, no matter how they identify. That is a fundamental principle of our society. But as we work to create inclusive spaces, we also have to acknowledge the realities of biology—and that can sometimes mean drawing lines in ways that some may find uncomfortable.

When it comes to something like bathrooms, the distinction is straightforward. Biological males and females have different physical needs, so we have separate facilities. This isn’t about discrimination; it’s about ensuring privacy and safety for everyone. No one wants to feel uncomfortable or vulnerable in a space that is meant to be private. Accommodations can and should be made where necessary, but erasing the distinction between biological sexes entirely isn’t the answer.
Now, let’s turn to sports. Competitive sports are inherently about physicality, and no matter how we feel about gender identity, we can’t ignore that biological males and females are different when it comes to physical strength, endurance, and speed. These differences are why we’ve historically had men’s and women’s divisions in sports. It’s not to diminish anyone’s identity or exclude people based on their feelings. It’s to ensure fairness.

Take the example of a female athlete who has trained her whole life to compete at the highest level. If we allow biological males, regardless of how they identify, to compete against her, we are changing the fundamental nature of the competition. This isn’t a question of kindness or inclusivity; it’s a question of fairness. Can we ask her to compete on a level playing field when we know that, biologically, it simply isn’t?
I understand the desire to be inclusive and to make everyone feel welcome and respected. But inclusivity can’t come at the cost of fairness or reality. And we shouldn’t have to choose between one or the other.

It’s possible to respect individual identity without disregarding biological facts crucial for maintaining the integrity of spaces and competition.

In navigating these issues, we need to approach with empathy and clarity. We should seek solutions that protect everyone’s rights—whether that means providing additional spaces, categories, or accommodations—without dismantling systems that are in place for real and necessary reasons. Let’s be kind, but let’s also be honest.

Elizabeth Hanke

Responses

Karl H Heise

September 20, 2024

I couldn’t agree more! Thank you!

LikeLike

Reply
Paul Brandon

September 21, 2024

You ought to bone up on your biology.

BTW, the French have managed to share bathrooms for a millenia or so, and seem to have survived quite nicely,

LikeLike

Reply
1. Elizabeth Hanke
  
  September 30, 2024
  
  I’ve been in uni-sex restrooms at bars where each stall has a full-sized door, and the handwashing area is open to the bar and shared. What I’ve noticed is that these setups do tend to stay cleaner—the open airspace means better ventilation, and without a door to hide behind, there’s less smoking/vaping or other issues. It’s a practical design, and I can see the appeal, especially when it comes to building new facilities. However, it’s important to recognize that implementing these changes comes with costs. When making these decisions, we need to weigh the benefits of cleanliness and efficiency against the practicalities of retrofitting existing spaces.
  
  I’ve used Turkish toilets in France, and yes, I had to pay for the experience. I also like that bidets are more common place in France. It’s worth noting that many public restrooms there come with a fee. It’s a different system than what we’re used to in the U.S., but it works for them. That said, I don’t recall ever using a unisex restroom in France.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
Cathy S

September 23, 2024

very well said

LikeLike

Reply
Bill Heyer

September 25, 2024

Biological males absolutely should not be allowed to compete in Women”s sports unless the sport is not related to physical strength. Amen

The negatives out weigh the options.

LikeLike

Reply
Jason Glaser

September 29, 2024

So, in practice, this would seem to advocate for basing bathrooms and sports on biological factors, but encouraging teachers, administrators, and students to use a person’s preferred name and pronouns when talking to or about them in school and purely social interactions. Is that an accurate assessment?

LikeLike

Reply
1. Elizabeth Hanke
  
  September 30, 2024
  
  I’ve worked with trans students, and I’ve always used the names or pronouns they’ve asked me to. In my role, I was fortunate to have a good relationship with parents, so I was never put in a position where I was asked to keep secrets. That’s important because I firmly believe adults should not be discussing sex or sexuality with minors without parental involvement. There’s a line we shouldn’t cross.
  
  At the same time, I’m deeply uncomfortable with the idea of compelled speech. If a Muslim or a traditional Christian doesn’t feel comfortable using certain pronouns, they shouldn’t be forced to. This isn’t about cruelty—it’s about recognizing that freedom of speech and conscience are fundamental rights. If a student offers their pronouns, I think kindness dictates we use them, but teachers shouldn’t be asking for pronouns, and certainly, no one should be compelled to use them against their beliefs. We need to find a balance that respects both the individual and the collective, without forcing anyone into ideological conformity.
  
  I think the bigger issue here is improving the overall culture of our schools. Let’s be honest—junior high and high school students can be downright cruel, and it often has little to do with how someone identifies. Teenagers are navigating complex social dynamics, and cruelty doesn’t discriminate. Whether you’re talking about gender identity, appearance, or any number of things that make a student feel ‘othered,’ the root problem is the culture itself.
  
  What we need is to focus on creating an educational environment where kindness and respect are the norm, not the exception. It’s not about making special rules for certain groups but about holding everyone to a higher standard of how we treat each other. That’s the real challenge—teaching students to see the humanity in one another, regardless of their differences. If we can do that, we’ll have made far more progress than any policy on pronouns ever could.”
  
  This emphasizes the need for a cultural shift toward kindness and respect, something more fundamental than just focusing on identity politics.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply
  1. Jason Glaser
    
    October 4, 2024
    
    So if a teacher were to say, “I’m not going to go around and ask any of you to claim a gender or get into any of that, so I’m just going to uniformly use she/her pronouns for everyone here. However, if you are comfortable talking to me about it and want me to use different pronouns I will certainly do that. But you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” that would seem to meet the goal of not requiring or requesting that students provide pronouns. Can they use that approach?
    
    LikeLike
  2. Elizabeth Hanke
    
    October 5, 2024
    
    I think the most reasonable approach is to use “she” or “he” based on how a student presents themselves. This aligns with the reality that, in day-to-day interactions, we rely on visual cues to guide our language. If a student presents in a way that suggests they are male or female, the teacher can respectfully use those pronouns without turning every classroom into a referendum on gender identity.
    
    Of course, this approach leaves room for adjustments if a student expresses a preference for different pronouns. But starting from how people present themselves avoids unnecessary awkwardness and doesn’t require anyone to declare or defend their gender identity unless they choose to. This strikes a balance between respecting individual autonomy and maintaining a sense of normalcy in the classroom. Ultimately, the goal should be to focus on education—not to introduce new linguistic norms that might confuse or alienate students who simply want to feel comfortable in their own skin.
    
    LikeLike